0) God was skint so she didn't go to the party.
1) Anon and Zetas did not have a war and instead now co-exist like arctic fox and polar bear.
2) Someone in a boat threw some dox into the twitter ocean.
3) The rumored US 'legalization' of cannabis did not happen.
4) The BBC pandered to the Occupy movement, rendering it instantly boring. Fixed.
5) Witvhes rly sickth!