Friday, 8 February 2013

Cannibal Myth-Busting.

Myth: Cannibals eat people.
Fact: Like everyone else, cannibals only resort to eating people when no other food is available. The majority of cannibals go their whole lives without ever having to consume a conspecific.

Myth: Cannibals scare people.
Fact: It's not in a cannibal's interest to scare a person. Scared people tend to be harder to catch. Fear also leads to a release of adrenaline which must be used up in a fight or a flight or it breaks down into a toxic foul substance which does not taste at all good. This is why the cat always plays before it kills.
You may be afraid of the concept of being eaten by a cannibal, but the actual act itself is fearless.

Myth: Cannibals eat small babies.
Fact: In the first six months of life babies produce a special chemical which makes them taste pretty awful, to discourage the fathers from eating them.

Myth: Autistic people are cannibals.
Fact: This is only a hypothesis which has been neither proven or disproved.

Myth: All cannibals are autistic.
Fact: Just like left handed people, homosexuals, or illicit drug users, cannibals can come from any background, can be any race, either sex, or have any disability. The only way the average cannibal differs from the average non-cannibal is the tendency to have a slightly larger head, teeth and brain, slightly more forward facing eyes, and slightly higher intelligence than non-cannibals.

Myth: Cannibals cannot love or be loved.
Fact: Cannibals breed, so what's going on there if it ain't love?

Myth: Cannibals catch men to eat by tying a woman to a tree as bait.
Fact: Not since homosexuals first evolved, which was before knots were invented.

Myth: Cannibals invented the see-saw.
Fact: This is not a myth.

Myth: You know where you stand with Cannibals.
Fact: Cannibals did not invent the refrigerator, but then hobbling works better and is better company too!

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